Tides of Passion by Nash Lilly Grace

Author:Nash, Lilly Grace
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: JL Lam Publishing
Published: 2024-01-20T00:00:00+00:00

Declaration of Devotion

Ryan

Of all the terrible decisions that I could have made, this should top the list.

I am currently on the tallest building in town, and the wind is hitting my face with a lot of force. Not that I mind much, it’s a much-needed slap back to reality.

I look down, and everyone and everything looks so small in comparison, and the song ‘I’m on top of the world’ is only starting to make sense now.

“You’re okay there?” A woman asks me, and I nod.

“Don’t be worried, I just came here to think. Wind makes it better.” I tell her, and she nods before leaving me to her own business.

“Savanna! Why are you doing this to me?” I yell, wanting to release all the air in my chest for a moment.

My feelings for Savanna are real, I care about her deeply. But there's more going on inside my head that's holding me back from fully committing.

I need to be mentally and emotionally ready before I can truly give myself in that way. Right now, I'm still confused about some things and where we stand. Things have been off between us lately and I don't entirely understand why.

Before we move forward any further, I need some time and space to sort through what I'm feeling. Physical intimacy is important to me, but even more so is the connection with her mind and heart. If my head isn't clear, I won't be fully present for Savanna in the way she deserves.

All I want is for us to be honest and open with each other. Maybe then the fog will start to lift. For now, I hope she understands that I care deeply - it's just that some things still feel uncertain. With patience and communication, hopefully the answers will come in time. But I can't rush into anything until I have more clarity for both our sakes.

I would say that yesterday should not have happened, but that’s going to be hypocritical of me, because I really enjoyed our time together yesterday, and I loved how she brought me cookies and how we talked, and I enjoyed the intimacy with her.

If there is someone in my head, they would probably think that I’m just rambling on and on like an idiot.

But I know what I’m talking about, and it makes sense, reason being is that I don’t think the talk we had was enough. Not that we actually talked about our relationship, we just went on talking about other things, avoiding that topic after she confessed, and while I’m also to blame, it further underlines my point.

I don’t regret it, but yeah, maybe last night should not have happened.

Not that it is mainly my fault for thinking in this manner, but Savanna ran out on me in the morning. She looked terrified, and she got up and changed out of my clothes into hers, didn’t even try to talk to me first, and she just left.

Clearly, she thinks that last night was a mistake too, and she did not want it to happen.

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